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Durham Region Daycare
21st April 2007

When bears attack

Dear Lucy,

I wanted to be sure to document what you did today so the first time a boy/girlfried comes calling, I can pull this post out — worn and ragged from my wallet — and read it. I hope the embarrasment it causes you somehow makes up for the trauma you put me through a few moments ago.

(And if any of you ever doubted the true danger of those innocent looking bear cookies known as Teddy Grahams, READ ON)

The scene: our kitchen table, where I’m slicing strawberries, and Lucy is drinking milk and munching on a few Teddy Graham cookies. Eric is on the couch watching the baseball game on Fox.

Ta-la-la! Sweet family time! Nothing to see here!

I turn to hand Lucy her milk, and notice a brown spot on her nose. Further inspection shows she has shoved the little paw foot from the Teddy Graham up her nostril in the span of 0.3658 seconds it took me to turn my head.

Lucy starts snorting like a boar, simultaneously pushing the cookie further up her nose. I can no longer see the paw protruding out the bottom. It is inching up her schnoz with every snort.

I yell, panicked, at Eric to grab some tweezers. Lucy’s starting to cry a little, probably more from my pained expression than the crunchy knob creeping towards her brain.

All I can think is, “Please don’t make me have to go the emergency room because my toddler has shoved a cookie bear paw up her nose. A crayon? Ok. Magnet? Sure. But a cookie?!”

Eric is forever my voice of reason, and assures me the cookie will just dissolve and slide out. I still attempt to pinch the paw out, holding Lucy across my lap and genltly jamming the tweezer up her nostril. Of course this maneuver and Lucy’s now pissed-off snorts mean the cookie is long gone.

Finally, we release her, and she throws her head back and smiles at me upside down.

Oh. Oh you little jerk.

Possibly related posts:

  1. Pandas, polar bears, ripping and dinner: Hello, Monday
  2. For the record, I baked them for HIM
  3. Devil Cookies
  4. Better nip this one in the bear. I mean bud.
  5. Uh-oh

There are currently 7 responses

  1. On April 21st, 2007 at 4:41 pm, Auntie Janice said:

    Hi there,

    Your Lucy story gave me a giggle – though I know that it can be a serious thing when a child does push something up a nostril. Lucy’s Gramie shoved peas up her nose when she was a little girl, and she had to go to the hospital to have them taken out. I guess this trend is in the “genes” as they say. Glad to hear that Lucy is all right. Love to all, as usual.

  2. On April 21st, 2007 at 9:20 pm, Tania said:

    My husband stuck an orange seed up his nose when he was about 4. His mother didn’t know what was wrong with him because he kept complaining about his head and that it hurt. Finally she took him to the doctor and they found the seed up his nose and it was actually starting to sprout. (So he says, don’t know if that’s the whole truth or not) It had been up there for a couple of days though.

  3. On April 21st, 2007 at 11:41 pm, Lynn said:

    Your story made me laugh. My son put a smartie up his nose and we had to wait till it melted. Doctor would not try to remove it and made me promise never to try to remove something myself. Good job he said that, because the following week it was a piece of lego. Sat hours waiting for it to come out its self. Never had a problem when he was little doing things like this, he waited until he was 3.

  4. On April 22nd, 2007 at 10:11 am, Nana said:

    soooooo funny, but I am sure very scarry for you!

  5. On April 22nd, 2007 at 7:00 pm, Gramie said:

    Everybody keeps telling me about the “pea” story, but of course I was too, too young to ever remember doing such a stupid thing. In fact, I am sure that I would never have done such a thing. Anyway, glad our Lucy is just fine. It sure is a good thing, Eric has such a level head like his mom. Love. Gramie

  6. On April 23rd, 2007 at 8:54 am, Lisa said:

    My daughter did it with a corn kernel. Yep sat in emerge for an 1 1/2 hours. Kicker was her older brother sat there and laughed are her while she did it.

  7. On April 23rd, 2007 at 9:42 am, Justyne said:

    My twin boys did that with corn kernels as well. They actually had a contest to see how many they could fit up their noses before Mommy found out.

Melonhead

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