An apple, a knife and Armageddon
As I mentioned in Lucy’s 2-year post, she has spontaneously entered what is commonly referred to as the Terrible Two’s. I like to call it The Time of Unreasonable Meltdowns For Ridiculous Reasons Usually Unknown To Those Around Her.
Take last night. Lucy had dinner in front of her: Fish, corn and milk. I sat down with her (Eric and I eat after she goes to bed), a cored apple on a plate as a snack. Perfectly willing to share, of course. I’d even brought a knife with me to slice up some pieces.
Lucy, not surprisingly, asked for a piece. “Of course, Honey!” I cheerily said, picking up the knife.
Well. Did you know that attempting to slice an apple into non-choking-sized pieces like I’d done bajillions of times before causes Armageddon? OH BE WARNED YE OF LITTLE KNOWLEDGE OF TODDLERS, FOR YE HATH NO IDEA THE WRATH OF A SLICED PIECE OF FRUIT.
Lucy lost it. In, quite literally, a blink.
“NO CUT, MUM-MUM!”
“What? But I always cut your apples, Lucy. I don’t want you to choke on a big piece.”
(We are all about getting down to Lucy’s level and explaining things to her. Often this helps curtail the severity of The Time of Unreasonable Meltdowns For Ridiculous Reasons Usually Unknown To Those Around Her.)
“NOOOOOOOOOOO! NO CUT, MUM-MUM!”
(Now her face is as red as the Gala apple on my plate.)
“Lucy,” I said calmly, for I am The Adult, “Mummy has to cut the apple. It’s too big a piece for you.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“How about I cut a piece in half, like this?”
“NOOOOOOO, MUM-MUM! Dere, tray, dere,” she said, pointing to the top of her tray.
Thinking, perhaps, that Julia lets Lucy eat apple pieces, and that I’m sitting right here and can monitor the progress of a large piece of apple, I decide to just give her a full-size eighth of an apple. For again, I am The Adult. The calm, rational, Adult. I put the piece on her tray.
“NOOOOOOOOOOO, MUM-MUM, NOOOOOO!” She puts the piece back on my plate.
Now the exasperation has kicked in. I put the piece back on her tray, and she again puts it back on my plate, ALL THE WHILE ASKING FOR A PIECE ON HER TRAY. This goes back and forth for a few minutes, me talking patiently, asking what she wants, she screaming, red-faced and crying.
Finally, I put the piece on her plate. And she stops. Like that. In another blink. She is smiling, says thank you, is happy.
I calmly get up from the table, for I am The Adult, walk into the hall, and bash my head against the wall a few times.
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There are currently 9 responses
I vaguely remember those days when you never knew when the volcano was going to erupt. Once that period was over, I rather quickly erased them from my memory banks.
Isn’t it funny the things that will set them off? I often find that when I expect our kids to have a tantrum about something, they don’t. But then some teeny little thing will send them over the edge.
It is indeed a good thing 2-year-olds are cute, too!
Love it, Love it, – thank you Lucy, & Mum-Mum for my laugh today!
So bored at work…thanks for posting…
I think Lucy wins for the Most Ridiculous Tantrum Ever. Eirinn usually loses it over snacks (she wants more, dinner is literally on the table), shows (she tells me one movie, I put it on, but I had apparently misunderstood her and she actually wanted a different movie), and getting ready to go (coats, hats, mitts, and boots are like flaming battery acid to a toddlers skin). What age does boarding school start?
THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!
We are having the same problem-it’s crazy! All of the sudden Jacob has Preferences. He doesn’t want the grey shirt, he wants the orange one…he doesn’t want the brown shoes, he wants the Sesame Street shoes. So far we’ve been able to head off some of these battles by giving him choices of two things, but even then, tantrums over these things still happen. Hopefully this is just a phase!
We had flying timbits last night!
We only gave her one and she wanted two. I said no and she threw it on the floor and freaked out! Then realized she threw it on the floor and before I could get it she ran over and shoved the whole thing in her mouth…….then started to cry with both hands in the air for two timbits!!!
Oh my goodness. Now I am getting worried about babysitting next week. It has been 30 years since I have had to put up with the Terrible Twos. I hope Lucy and I can come to an understanding about things.
Just went through this with Kylie a year ago then we transitioned into what I call the Traumatic Three’s. The Terrible Twos don’t disappear at the third birthday unfortunately. *sigh*