I agree Lucy is ready for time outs now. I’ve always believed kids have to be a certain age to really understand what a time out is, but Lucy’s development over the past two months really shows me she’s at that stage. So this is definitely something we will start implementing. Thank you to everyone who suggested this.

This particular situation was a combination of me reaching a frustration breaking point, and Lucy not listening. Because she was strapped into her chair and still eating, I never would have pulled her out to give her a time out — even now looking back. I did not want to disrupt her dinner that way or associate her booster seat in a negative way.

If it happened again tomorrow, I’d still do the same thing. But I would have made more of a distinction between “hurt Mummy” and “hurt Mummy’s feelings.” I agree with Jen O. that Lucy understands the difference between these two emotions, but I did not articulate it enough.

I will always believe that self preservation in these situations — whether it means walking out of a room, or putting a baby in a crib/playpen — to calm down. I’ve done this on many occasions since Lucy was born, and always return to the situation in a better place.

Lastly, I think it’s important for Lucy to understand that the world does not revolve around her 24/7. Therefore, she needs to learn that not only grown-ups, but other children, need their time and turn and place to be able to talk. We always include Lucy in conversations and never purposely ignore her. In this situation, and every evening when Eric returns home, I always remain sitting at the table with Lucy. But does this mean I have to have a running, non-stop dialogue with her? No. Do I still turn to her and talk? Yes. But her presence in the room does not dictate the entire conversation. I do not want her growing up with an inflated sense of self worth, and I’ve seen this in other kids who walk all over their parents, interrupt, demand and control.

Thanks again to everyone for sharing their thoughts in such a controlled, thoughtful way. It’s one of the things I love most about this site.

Sorry – you did ask our opinions!!

But seriously, you guys try to have adult conversations when she’s around? And it works? That never works for us. Sometimes in the car, but almost never at home.

I think she is a member of the family and you should make an effort to include her in conversations (which will necessitate talking about buses and colours and daycare and all kinds of little kid things but hey, that’s parenthood). Trying to have an adult conversation when she’s right there, especially at the dinner table, is like speaking a foreign language in front of someone who can’t understand. I think it’s not fair to Lucy.

You have to give Eric credit for not intervening at the time but discussing it later with you when Lucy was not around.

I remember my parents never discussed their work day in front of us…..they considered that adult talk and at the dinner table, the topics were general in which everybody could participate. I agree that is difficult with a 2-year old

Kylah’s been doing the same thing lately. She interrupts Josh and I all the time when we’re talking. We don’t put up with it. I don’t want to be “those” parents that are having adult conversation and then allow their kids to talk in the middle of it by paying attention to them. I think it’s very important for my kids to learn that it’s rude to interrupt and they need to wait their turn.
Josh and I always say to Kylah (and we will do the same with Liam and any other kids we have) “Kylah, Daddy’s (or Mommy) talking right now, you need to wait and listen.”
If she doesn’t we’ll say it a bit more sternly and warn a time out… and then if she does it again or acts up more, she gets an automatic time-out for two minutes.
We’ve done this right from the beginning so she’s prettttty good.

I don’t think I would’ve left the room like you did because it’s almost like you’re punishing yourself. I think she’s the one that needs to be removed from the “action”.

I do also think that consistency is key for discipline. I’ve had to come up with a plan, that I use for every “naughty” thing that Kylah does. Of course, there’s other things that get a time out immediately but most times, it’s a strong warning, and then time-out if that doesn’t work… after that, she goes to her room into her bed with no toys and the door closed.

Laura

I also don’t like the words “You hurt mummy.” “Do you want to hurt mummy again and make her leave?” Technically she didn’t “hurt” you, she may have hurt your feelings but I don’t think two yr olds think of hurt in that manner. I think they think of hurt as injury/pain.

Anyway I’ve dealt with my share of the ME stage and I found the easiest way to teach kids to not interrupt is to remove THEM to time out when they are rude like that.

I bought a small chair for Kylie and the hubby painted it red and then stenciled Time Out on the back. The chair sits against the wall by the TV *this way she cannot enjoy TV while in time out*. She does not use the chair for anything but time outs.

When she interrupts or any of the other time out offenses I take her to the chair and tell her she is going into time out for *whatever*. I have a kitchen timer and I set it for 3 minutes (her age now) and she is to sit there until it dings. Then I come to her, kneel down tell her again why she went into time out. She apologizes. I give her a hug and a kiss and that’s it until the next time.

Lucy is a pretty smart cookie and I believe she will understand the concept of time out and be able to understand the reasons why she must observe a time out.

Don’t fall into the habit that Kylie’s parents have…they are always threatening to send Ky to time out and rarely do. When they do all holy hell breaks out because Ky can’t understand why they decided to do it that time. I don’t have that problem here. When I point to the time out chair, she goes, quietly. She observes her time, listens to me when I come back and reiterate why she went into time out, she apologizes, we trade hugs and kisses and move on.