The hidden cost of pregnancy recently discovered in the paper products aisle of the grocery store
Everyone talks about how expensive babies are, with their constant demands for diapers! and wipes! and clothes! and toys! and blankets! and! and! and!
But did you know pregnancy costs money, too? Not just in excess food (*ahem*), but in toilet paper.
You may not notice how much toilet paper you use while gestating a baby that is constantly crushing your bladder if you work in an office all day. But when one works from home, it suddenly dawns on you why “TP” is once AGAIN scrawled on the grocery list between bananas and parmesan cheese.
It’s all the peeing (not pooping, mind you, an act reduced to luxury from the moment the pee stick turns positive, hmmm?). The every-half-an-hour waddle lumber trek to the bathroom. Which requires — no matter how pitiful the result is, and boy are there some weak-ass piddles when you’re pregnant — wiping and, thus, toilet paper.
(At least a few of the washroom visits are made somewhat entertaining by a potty training toddler, who likes to stand beside the toilet, expectantly stare at your mostly-covered-by-baby-bulge crotch until the tinkle starts, then yell, “Yay, Mommy go pee-pee on the potty!” while applauding. It’s nice to have a cheering squad. But by the end of the day when Mommy makes her 47 billionth trip to the toilet, said toddler just rolls her eyes as if to say, “Oh, for the loveofgod, not again.”)
At least I’ll have an excuse when the time comes for the kids to leave home and further their schooling, and they realize there is no money left in their education funds: “Sorry, girls, but remember when you were camped out on my bladder for 9.5 months? No? WELL, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS.”
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I think that we should start our own family toilet paper company! Durham Region Baby has all your toilet paper needs - tried and tested.
The bit about the toddler cheering section had me laughing out loud. Sounds familiar!
Double toilet rolls. I discovered them during my last pregnancy. (I hate changing the toilet paper roll more than once a day!!) They cost twice as much but last twice as long.
Love the cheering squad!